It’s late. I’m sitting up watching #Nashville. My body hungers for rest, but my mind is insatiable and refuses to be quiet long enough for the peaceful slumber to let in as I sink my head into a soft pillow.
Admittedly, this one’s out of focus. Like something circling, looking at something from a distance, and trying to make a smooth landing. But planes and turbulence are about as predictable as life and this moment….it’s a little bumpy.
I live to write and write to live. It’s my direct connect to passion. As I was circling in thought tonight, I thought maybe I might find something in my treasure box to share. My treasure box is what inspired this blog. Stacks of memories typed neatly, center aligned, with “M” signed at the bottom of every one.
Some of the newer additions are on my hard drive. I was looking for something to send out and inspire…what I found was a greater need for me to be inspired and found it in a curious Word document named "bandaids."
If you can imagine waking up on Christmas morning and finding the most thoughtful gift, neatly tucked away behind the tree…as I opened my “bandaids” the white screen and black text contrast jumped off the page…illuminating my mind, giving me comfort and helping me to realize it was finally time to land this plane.
I would love to share absolutely everything about this, but because it’s not my story to tell, I can only tell you about the many, many bandaids that attached and affixed themselves to me, quickly and tightly wrapping around an open, gaping wound. Friends, who were faster than first responders to a terrible accident, offering immediate life support while still trying to assess the damage and treat my pain.
I lost something last year, suddenly and abruptly. It’s so complicated and as I said, not my story to tell…my intention is to share hope and faith for others, who may experience something difficult to overcome…most importantly, to the countless people onboard this difficult flight, who had no more control than I, having traveled the same distance, the same journey…all experiencing an unexpected route and diversion.
My file, tucked away on my hard drive, was a collection of messages and emails from my friends during a very difficult time…as I re-read the messages, I felt renewed comfort and a blanket of peace surrounding me with every word. I couldn’t see it at the time, but it’s clear to me now that the support and faith in me by my friends is what ultimately gave me the strength I didn’t know I had.
So my apologies if I close with even less focus than where I began…to my friends, I want to thank you again for being the angels on the wings of this journey. My wish for everyone is to be as fortunate as I have been in having people in your life to raise you up and make you better than you believe you are. My friends, you know who you are. If you ever need me to meet you at the gate, on the tarmac…or to help you land your plane, I am there, without question. I may not have any clearer of a flight plan, but I promise you I’ve got your back if you need to go on auto-pilot. I think I’ve finally landed this plane and before I finally get out and move on, I want you to know I couldn’t have done it without you. And for anyone else that reads this, realize that those same beacons of light are at the ready on the runway and you’re stronger than you think. #tryingtopayitforward